is a quick tip ezine for Managers who believe in "Results
Derived from Within"
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2006 Three Tips to Effective Personal Communication
Last month we talked about the use of pet
phrases in your personal communication that silently sabotage
you. Did you complete your homework exercise of asking ten
people, business colleagues, friends and family members the
five questions about which phrase you always use that should
be changed? What were your results?
Here are a few general tips for receiving a
more positive reaction to your communication:
Tip Number One: Banish the word
“just” from your vocabulary.
By using this word as filler you will
immediately subjugate your effort, leaving your listener with
the impression that YOU feel what you’ve done is not enough,
or insignificant. See the examples below:
- Oh it was just a
- We were just working on
the National Sales Plan.
- My greatest accomplishment was just
the big sale to IBM.
- I just have a Masters
Tip Number Two: Never use “but”
always use “and”
The word “but” negates anything before
it. When you say, “that is a great idea, but….” you are
really saying that it is not a good idea. When you say, “I
agree with you, but…” you are really saying that you do
not agree and will go on to say why. This is imperative in
negotiations. You would never want to say, “This is a great
offer, but”. The appropriate response is “this is a great
offer and there is only one item that we need to close on”.
I find that this even works with children, “Maria that is a
great idea and we just have to ask for Mommy’s
Tip Number Three: Banish the word
“they” from your vocabulary.
I encounter folks all the time who have
simply become lazy and use the word “they” for everyone in
every situation. Do you hear yourself saying things like?
- They don’t care about employees any
- They said that the plane would be 30
- They refuse to do anything about my
- They had not done their homework and
wasted an hour of my time.
- They are always late.
Using “they” makes your communication
sound nebulous and imprudent. Contrast that with the use of a
proper noun or an actual name and your communication is more
factual and accurate. For example:
- Since Ms. Jones and the new Board came to
power, it seems as if they do not take employee needs into
- The senior ticket agent at the gate said
that the plane would be 30 minutes late.
- The Call Center agent named John refused
to do anything about my problem.
- David, the Sales Manager for the Nabisco
account, came to the meeting without his team’s sales
numbers for the month of December. Without this data, the
meeting was a waste of time.
- The Service Team is always late.
By deploying these tips and completing the
exercise of asking your friends and colleagues to help you
sharpen your personal communication, you will stop sabotaging
your effectiveness and will become a more powerful
communicator. Congratulations, you are taking yet another step
in Deriving Results from Within.
you like the tip, let us know but more important, share it
with a friend or colleague. As always, YOUR SUCCESS IS MY