Volume 4, Issue 2

Coach Vickie Bevenour - www.CoachVickie.com

February 2006

This Newsletter


... is a quick tip ezine for Managers who believe in "Results Derived from Within"
Written by: Vickie Bevenour

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Coach Vickie Bevenour
919-303-4780
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email Coach Vickie

The RDW Group, Inc.
114 Partheni Court
Cary , NC 27519

February 2006 Three Tips to Effective Personal Communication

Last month we talked about the use of pet phrases in your personal communication that silently sabotage you. Did you complete your homework exercise of asking ten people, business colleagues, friends and family members the five questions about which phrase you always use that should be changed? What were your results?

Here are a few general tips for receiving a more positive reaction to your communication:

Tip Number One: Banish the word “just” from your vocabulary.

By using this word as filler you will immediately subjugate your effort, leaving your listener with the impression that YOU feel what you’ve done is not enough, or insignificant. See the examples below:

  • Oh it was just a negotiation meeting.
  • We were just working on the National Sales Plan.
  • My greatest accomplishment was just the big sale to IBM.
  • I just have a Masters degree.

Tip Number Two: Never use “but” always use “and”

The word “but” negates anything before it. When you say, “that is a great idea, but….” you are really saying that it is not a good idea. When you say, “I agree with you, but…” you are really saying that you do not agree and will go on to say why. This is imperative in negotiations. You would never want to say, “This is a great offer, but”. The appropriate response is “this is a great offer and there is only one item that we need to close on”. I find that this even works with children, “Maria that is a great idea and we just have to ask for Mommy’s permission.”

Tip Number Three: Banish the word “they” from your vocabulary.

I encounter folks all the time who have simply become lazy and use the word “they” for everyone in every situation. Do you hear yourself saying things like?

  • They don’t care about employees any more.
  • They said that the plane would be 30 minutes late.
  • They refuse to do anything about my problem.
  • They had not done their homework and wasted an hour of my time.
  • They are always late.

Using “they” makes your communication sound nebulous and imprudent. Contrast that with the use of a proper noun or an actual name and your communication is more factual and accurate. For example:

  • Since Ms. Jones and the new Board came to power, it seems as if they do not take employee needs into consideration.
  • The senior ticket agent at the gate said that the plane would be 30 minutes late.
  • The Call Center agent named John refused to do anything about my problem.
  • David, the Sales Manager for the Nabisco account, came to the meeting without his team’s sales numbers for the month of December. Without this data, the meeting was a waste of time.
  • The Service Team is always late.

By deploying these tips and completing the exercise of asking your friends and colleagues to help you sharpen your personal communication, you will stop sabotaging your effectiveness and will become a more powerful communicator. Congratulations, you are taking yet another step in Deriving Results from Within.


If you like the tip, let us know but more important, share it with a friend or colleague. As always, YOUR SUCCESS IS MY GREATEST PLEASURE.

Copyright 2006 The RDW Group, Inc.


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